It's been well over a year since I have posted anything on my poor little blog...where does time go?!? I find it interesting that today is the day I decide to start back into blogging...
As most of the people who read this blog know, I am a foster parent. My husband and I have been foster parents for 6 years. Through that time we have seen the ups and downs and been on a crazy roller coaster ride called Children & Youth Services.
Yesterday one of my foster parent friends posted an article that was on the local news about a young foster dad who was arrested for abusing one of his foster children. Of course this has caused a lot of outrage on how someone could do this, etc. etc. We have a group on Facebook of foster parents/adoptive parents from our agency where we can talk about anything...tough times, situations such as this, advice, and a laugh...this topic has been discussed a bunch on there. I am having such a hard time with people's reactions.
One of the commenter's on the article said who approves "these people" to be foster parents. Another one said "the state will give kids to anyone so they don't have to take care of them". Many of these comments have rubbed me the wrong way. I have been trying to bite my tongue to not comment on the website where the article is listed. This was just another realization that people are really clueless on what it takes to be a foster parents. I know not many people read my blog...but I just feel like I need to share...
We had to have FBI Clearances, Police Checks, Child Abuse Clearances, home study, mounds of paperwork, training on top of trainings, water testing, emergency exit plans, disaster plans, home visits, dr. clearances, and the list continues. The ironic part?! Birth parents can just have babies and take them home with no license, no checks, no trainings, nothing...all this to say, there are always bad apples on the tree. No matter how many checks or evaluations done...people can slip through the cracks.
But the other question is...what was done for the foster parent? Did they know they could ask for help if they were overwhelmed? Were they offered help? Did they request the children be removed if they were overwhelmed?
I am frustrated that in times such as these, the automatic reaction is to lump all foster parents together and act as though we are bad people and only in it for the money. As I said in our group page, we could lump birth parents together as bad parents. But we don't do that...we see the good in people and want them to succeed in getting their children back into their home if that is the best for the child.
Sorry that was a lot of blubbering...and probably didn't make any sense, I apologize. Maybe tomorrow I will blog about a happier topic :)
Its the media's fought too. I was irritated that they put the childs mother on TV and played her as the victim. Clearly her child was also unsafe in her care. They don't remove children from homes without cause. You do an amazing job as a mommy and it reflects in your children! Love you!
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