Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Sometimes I question...

I know I just started back to blogging and all of my posts have been mostly negative, but today I am having a bad day and just need to vent.

If you have been reading my blog you understand the struggles my children and I have been having lately. This morning was no different. My son woke me up sometime around 6 (I tried to look at the clock, it just wasn't make sense this morning), freaking out because something was going on with his eye. I don't know...something about burning and he couldn't see and it hurt so bad. I think he has allergies and they are dry, but he wasn't hearing me about that. Finally after having to get quite upset with him, I got him to lay down a little bit more. Sometime in between that fun time, and the time my alarm finally went off...like 5 minutes later, I hear that the girls are awake in their room. I try to quickly get myself together so I can get upstairs to see what they are doing...it.was.horrible.

There was clothes everywhere. Doll hair everywhere. A beautiful dress that Aleah was going to wear for her Christmas Program had a huge hole cut in it. A brand new dress had pieces cut out of it. A shirt had pieces cut out of it. 2 pillows were sacrificed and defluffed. Tianna thought cutting out huge hunks of her hair would be awesome. Oh and to top it off? She peed her bed.again. I have no words. I am so upset that this is the point we are at. Tuesday cannot come soon enough to get help...I am so overwhelmed. I feel like a failure as a mother and I question why I wanted to do this. 

2 comments:

  1. I know. It's so hard! You are not a failure as a Mom, you are a Mom who has really tough kids...through, unfortunately, probably no fault of their own...life is really tough....

    I think doing therapy with Z helps me as much as him...so nice to have someone who understands!

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  2. Praying for you Amy. God wouldn't have given you those three amazing kids if he wasn't 100% sure you were the perfect mom for the job. Everytime I see the kids, I am constantly floored at the great strides they are making. And all the outside help in the world wouldn't do them any good if they didn't have you giving them a loving, safe, and stable home environment that they can depend on. Love you friend. Let me know if there is anything I can do!

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